DOA (Dead Or Alive)

doa.jpgDirector: Corey Yuen
Genre: Action/adventure
Starring: Jaime Pressly (Tina Armstrong), Devon Aoki (Kasumi), Holly Valance (Christie Allen), Sarah Carter (Helena Douglas), Natassia Malthe (Ayane) and Kane Kosugi (Ryu Hayabusa)
Plot: Some girls goin to a martial art competition only to reveal that they are being manipulated for some evil intent.

doa_0.jpgNot that this detracts from the fun. The story centres on three young women who are invited to participate in the DOA tournament on an isolated island. Tina (Pressley) is a pro wrestler who fights in the ring as a double act with her dad (Nash), and when she arrives at the island she’s a little embarrassed to find that he’s been invited too.

Christie is a world-class thief with all the right moves; she’s working with another competitor to find the island’s secret stash of cash. And Kasumi is looking for her brother, who went missing at last year’s competition. She’s been followed to the island by her brother’s best friend, who’s a fellow competitor, and a devious assassin lurking outside the fight zone to kill her for leaving their palace.

Don’t mess with ouch…?

Their host is Donovan, who has inherited the contest from DOA’s late founder. And he’s clearly up to something, keeping an eye on every move the contestants make and plotting something nefarious involving the founder’s heiress daughter Helena, who’s competing herself for the first time this year. As the tournament progresses and the fighters are pared down to the final four (guess who?), Donovan’s devious plan starts to take shape.

Let go my cloth! If torn you ganti balek!

While there’s plenty of scope in the plot for a bit of intriguing subtext, the filmmakers only use the narrative to bridge the various fight scenes. And they’re pretty spectacular, using just about every setting imaginable–rafts in a lake, an endless flight of steps, bamboo forest, Asian temple, teetering scaffolding. But even these scenes are merely an excuse to oogle the girls as they wear impossibly brief costumes. This is made absolutely clear during their one break from competition, in which our four heroines indulge in a bikini-clad beach volleyball match.

doa_3.jpg sewing machine, use teeth pon jadik la!

Wah wah wah, no leggy leggy!

The film stumbles as extensive wire work and digital retouching fill each fight, so what we watch on screen feels like a cartoon. Some viewers will be distracted from this by all the freeze-frames, split screens, whizzy graphics and close-ups of various body parts. But you get the feeling that no one was actually on set together. And even worse, the whole film begins to sag under the weight of the convoluted conspiracy plot. In the end we feel like we’ve enjoyed ourselves, even though the film is seriously awful.

I am hot eventhough the film is awefool..fuckya’ll.

This film is about SKIN, and more SKIN!

The for you’s

  • If you like gorgeous babes with load of skins, this is for you.
  • If you like martial arts show this is for you
  • If you don’t mind crappy plot, this is for you
  • If you are fan of the game, this is for you.

The not for you’s

  • If you are fan of quality films with good story plot, this is NOT for you (plotless!)
  • If you are a male chauvinist pig, this is not for you (girl power!)
  • If you are a feminist, this is not for you (too much skinz!)
  • If you are a martial arts purist, this is not for you (they do lotsa strings & CG rendering!)
  • If you are an intellectual, this is not for you (makes u feel stupid)

I just watch for the sake of skins i guess. Muahaha. I give this a 1 star rating.