He thinks that I am squeezing money from him.

It’s so hurtful.

He is a bit down since yesterday.

He exploded at me.

But it’s ok although it hurts me.

He has taken enough bashing from me too whenever I’m in bad mood.

So I can and I will take it this time.

I love you.

Muakssssssssssssssssss.

I sent some sms-es to him because I did miss him a little too much.

He said I was being pushy.

That hurts.

Speechless.

Only silent tears.

(1) Told Lion to update this blog, but he never want to do it, so I am doing it now lah.

(2) By the way, Lion still owes the About Me page. Gonna be 1 year already. Sigh.

(3) Christmas is coming!! Year 2009 is coming!! This is the season to be jolly…….fa la la la la

That’s all. Nothing much. Bye.

收藏在眼眸 常徘徊左右 愛猜到沒有
愉快玩笑後 能全然退後 你開心就夠

這種感覺太親厚 講一千句也不夠
假使講了你聽到後 或會走
這種戀愛太罕有 不須真正擁有
成全 衷心祝福然後 就放手

放手 放開所有 彼此更自由
放手 其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手 豁出所有 還有這個好友
已經 已經足夠

遙遠是宇宙 靜靜在背後 去看守就夠

這種感覺太親厚 講一千句也不夠
即使一剎有過衝動 挽你手
這種戀愛太罕有 不須真正擁有
成全 多捨不得仍然 是放手

放手 放開所有 彼此更自由
放手 其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手 豁出所有 還有這個好友
已經 已經足夠

放手 我的牽掛 找不到盡頭
放手 期望你幸福甚麼都有
也許 愛很深厚 然而我早看得透
放手 至可擁有

English translation:

Hiding within my vision, always lingering beside, can guess love is not present
After happily playing & laughing, and be able to totally retreat; as long as you are happy its enough.

This kind of feeling is too loving & warm; to speak a thousand phrases would be insufficient.
What if you were to hear it and afterwards leave
This kind of love is too rare, doesnt need to completely possess
Giving approval, give (my) blessing wholeheartedly, then let go.

Let go, let go of everything, both will have greater freedom
Let go; in fact its not because I do not love enough
Let go, let go of everything without reserve, will still have a good friend
Its already, already enough.

From a distance, in the background of universal silence, just observing is enough.

This kind of feeling is too loving & warm; to speak a thousand phrases would be insufficient.
Even though there was an instant, on impulse where I wanted to hold your hand
This kind of love is too rare, doesnt need to completely possess
Even with heaviness of heart, (its best) to let go.

Let go, let go of everything, both will have greater freedom
Let go; in fact its not because I do not love enough
Let go, let go of everything without reserve, will still have a good friend
Its already, already enough.

Let go, my memories (of you) cannot find an ending
Let go ! Wish you will have happiness & everything.
Maybe, love is very deep, but I have already seen it through
Can only possess when (you) let go.

It’s been 760 days of laughter and tears,
Didn’t realise it was already two long years, 
It feels like only yesterday we met,
Passing each other’s path in the net.

Assonic ain’t no acid makes me panic,
Never seen a name yet so accidic,
Curiousity kills the cat thats what they say,
Knowing who assonic is really made my day.

We cry and laugh and poke fun alot,
We are sometimes a crazy fun lot,
Swearing and teasing like no tomorrow
It does kill of some of the sorrow.

We’ve been bad and we’ve been chaotic,
Sometimes we became so problematic,
Although we had our up and downs,
We always win the end after every rounds 

I know I wasn’t the greatest, I wasn’t the best,
I try to make every minute of love a zest,
Won’t give up, I will never do,
Until you leave me and never be my boo

Deep down I appreciate all the good you gave,
Even if you restrict my time of seeing Dave,
I will find my time to get around it,
Although it hurts me a little bit.

I hope we will strive to our very best,
Until I come home taking care the rest,
Instill your faith in me till your last breath,
I love you more till the day of my death. 

760 now it’s been a long time,
I hope I could get to buy us more time,
Until i’m home and making up to you.
Sharing my tender love with you.

I have the heart I am still sincere,
To continue this  journey with you my dear,
Your tenderness is the music to my ear,
I hope you will sing me more when I am near.

I am at the end of my lonely journey,
WIll count my days to meet my honey,
I pray that god to make me happy,
To be united in love with my baby.

Happy Anniversary Baby.

All I Want Is Forever

One day, someday, I hope to get some of these:

With personalized message from him.

http://www.mymms.com/

Don’t think he’s that romantic. I bet he doesn’t even know that this kind of thing exist. I can only hope and wish in silence.

“Why are you crying?” he asked his mom.
“Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
“I don’t understand,” he said. His mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will”

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”
“All women cry for no reason” was all his dad could say…

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry…

Finally he put in a call to GOD; when GOD got on the phone the man said, “GOD, why do women cry so easily?”

GOD said…

When I made women she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world; yet, gentle enough to give comfort…

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children…

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining…

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly…

This same sensitivity helps her to make a child’s boo-boo feel better and shares in their teenagers anxieties and fears…

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart…

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly…

I gave her a tear to shed, It’s hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed. It’s her only weakness… It’s a tear for mankind.

*************************************************************************************************************

If a girl cries in front of you, it means that she couldnt take it anymore.
If you take her hand, she would stay with you for the rest of your life.
If you let her go, she couldnt go back to being herself anymore.
A girl wont cry easily,except in front of the person who she love the most, she becomes weak.
A girl wont cry easily, only when she love you the most, she put down her ego.
Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you, please hold her hands firmly,she’s the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.
Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you, please dont give her up,maybe bcoz of your decision, you ruin her life.
When she cry rite in front of you,
When she cry bcoz of you,
Look into her eyes,
Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she’s feeling?
Think.
Which other girl have cried wif pure sincerity,
In front of you,
And bcoz of you?
She cry not because she is weak,
She cry not bcoz she wan sympathy or pity,
She cry,
Because crying silently is no longer possible,the pain,hurt,n agony have become too big a burdento be kept inside.
Guys,
Think about it,
If a girl cry her heart out 2 you,
And all because of you,
Its time to look back on wat u have done,
Only you will know the answer to it.
Do consider it,
Coz one day,
It may be too late for regrets,
It may be too late to say “im sorry”.

Ever since i grow up, i never had people telling me and regulate my behaviour or my activity. Not even my parents. And now i feel im suffocating as i cannot do whatever i like. Even ffk-ing will get severe hammering. I have no upperhand in my life. I have people constantly grumbling and waiting to penalise me when i do wrong. Even my mistake is as petty as, hmm..ffking?

Even that will be a big deal as if the skies are being torn apart so the moon & stars can fall down and crash on to me.

What pride left for me as a big man? I am being treated like a delinquent who owe someone big bucks or murdered someone’s family. What is my value after all I did? I don’t feel i am being appreciated anymore. I don’t think my presence is valuable.

I think I am better off without a love which is hostile towards me. I hate hostility, I hate fights, I hate arguments, I hate being bitter. But why there’s people who constantly come to me and bringing me those bad vibes?

Can’t they understand the word NO? or they don’t ‘use their brains to analyse the situation’?

I think they dont understand.

I am so mad with him.

Why he always have to do this to me??

Again I am waiting like stupid.

Does him even love me??